Penniless Tim

January 11, 2011

The Casual One

Filed under: College,Humor — Tim @ 2:53 pm
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Postal Worker Series – Part I
I was designated a United States Postal Service Casual with the official job description “a part-time mail carrier substituting for full-time mail carriers on either vacation or on convalescence leave recovering from severe dog bites and/or extreme bouts of anger.” The official reason regarding the Casual designation is still unknown, but I believe it’s related to either the casual starting time of 9:30 AM (give or take an hour) or a self descriptive position for part-time employee’s work ethics (although many full-time employees shared the same passion).  Not being full-time, a Casual is denied permission to don the mailman’s snappy and stylish attire, but rather must wear ‘civvies’ meeting stringent guidelines – no holes and a collared shirt.  Coincidentally, the civilian attire conveniently eliminated any uniform stipend paid to the Casual.
A Casual’s job is to simply deliver the mail. The actual mail bundle sorting and organizing is performed by superbly trained, nattily attired, and highly motivated full-time mail carriers (or by whoever shows up on time); hence, the Casual’s work day begins anywhere from 9:00 AM to 10:00 AM dependent upon a mail carrier organizing both his own route and the vacationing/convalescing mail carrier’s route. Befitting my level of work experience and superior academic learning, the postal service bestowed a princely wage of $5.00 per hour – the envy of Wall Street.  I eagerly awaited the casual Casual experience!
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Mail Carriers Gone Wild

Filed under: College,Humor — Tim @ 2:35 pm
Tags: , ,

I’ve always vowed to write about my post office summer job (back when the next ice age was the big worry).  Since I’m now Georgia snow bound, its a good time to start.  It is a true story with a little fictitious filler – feel free to guess what is fictitious.  Now on with the story (and I still need to finish my last blog posting – what with all those snowball fights and sledding runs, those darn kids keep getting in the way)!

Christmas Lights

Georgia Snowbound

Iowa summers!  Other than Nebraska winters, can you think of a better vacation locale?  High humidity, soy beans, two big rivers, three little rivers, four lakes, five ponds, corn fields, corn husks, corn mazes, corn fed girls, bovine parasites, and unemployed college students aplenty watching corn grow.  In the summer of ’86,  I was the latter and not particularly excited by the prior when good fortune struck faster than corn in a hot air popper – the United States Postal Service Sioux City branch opted to employ my services for the summer.  Management was impressed with my hardy resume credentials:  a hardly earned 2.8 Iowa State University GPA; personal references consisting of Mom, Dad, Uncle Lyle, and a second cousin once removed who was a personal friend of the Post Master General’s first cousin once removed; an unblemished work history – Bishop’s Cafe dishwasher (promoted from pot washer after six sudsy, sweaty months); corn detasseler / bean walker (don’t ask and don’t tell); snow shoveler; Greyhound racing dog walker; study hall monitor; mower of lawns.  The Post Office’s summer hires were an eclectic group with virtually nothing in common except the ironic coincidence each had a family member employed at the Post Office.

NOTE: For some reason, my post office days always made me think of this old sketch.  I would call this video PG-13 (it is innocent – less innocent are what people are thinking).

Post Series Part II

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