Penniless Tim

October 24, 2010

Fall Tradition

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tim @ 8:50 pm

Iowa migrant workers visit Georgia

In keeping with our fall tradition, we picked apples in Ellijay, GA and brought home two pecks of Mutsu and Rome Delicious.  At only $12 per peck, $5 orchard entry fee per person (Centenarians and under 4 weeks free), $3 per soda, and $10 hay rides, they were practically giving away the apples.  After adding gas expenses, those apples were only about $3 each.  We wanted to go Blueberry picking as well, but unfortunately the bank loan didn’t come through in time.  Luckily, we’re eligible for a stimulus grant (saving 5 jobs – see picture above).  The next time I need to max the credit cards, I’ll just take the kids to an Atlanta Braves game or buy some popcorn at the movie theatre.

October 23, 2010

Christmas 1998

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tim @ 10:45 pm

Call me silly, sentimental, or just supercilious, but I’ve kept all my old Christmas card letters.  Not ones sent to me, mind you, ones I’ve written.  In some narcissistic way, I’m thinking they will be used by some future Tim Scott biographer – documenting the life and times of the world’s most famous something.  I was always certain my famous something was going to really be something, but now my famous something may be not being famous for anything.  Sometimes something is better than nothing even if your something really was nothing.  Wow, my logic sounds like a politician!  And by the way, does anyone know the definition of supercilious – I heard some smart guy use it once and liked the s sounds.

Anyway, I thought it would be funny if I posted an old Christmas Card letter from my ancient past.  Now all of my loyal followers (the two people I email about my blog post) can get a chuckle from how quickly my life has taken a different course.  Here it is:

Dear Friends & Family!
We shall be experiencing our 2nd Christmas as a married couple in Carson
City, NV – staying with Tim’s older (and not nearly as athletic) brother Tom and his six kids (and very busy wife Mary).  We shall enjoy the on the job training with Tom and Mary’s kids before we hopefully make the plunge ourselves in the near future (a year 2000 baby – Mille Enium Scott).

After Christmas, we’re driving to California for two weeks of adventure in San Francisco, Monterey, and Wine Country.  They say California is like a bowl of Granola -if it is not a nut, it’s a flake (I wonder where Michelle and I will fit in).  Neither one of us has ever stayed in the Northern California area and we’re extremely excited about our trip.  If anyone has suggestions for the area, your more than welcome to call us before we leave on December 22 – of course, we¹d be ecstatic if you called us for any reason (but don’t try
to get us to change our long distance carrier).

Michelle is continuing to enjoy life as a freelance graphic designer with her office in the house.  She is keeping extremely busy and enjoys being her own (as well as Tim’s) boss.  Some of her projects range from graphic identities for retail malls, to logos, to company brochures.  The stress level is a whole lot lower than her Olympic projects and she
actually has time to work out, paint (pictures – not the house), and enjoy life with her husband (which makes us both happy).

I (Tim) am continuing to run my own copier/fax/printer business.  It’s been quite an exciting year even though I haven’t gotten any smarter in my business – just a whole lot more knowledgeable.  I’m seriously considering whether to try and expand the business during the upcoming year (and essentially eliminating any free time) or sell my share of
the company to my partner and pursue different avenues (and not work for myself).  It’s a tough choice, but I’m extremely excited about the new year no matter which route I pursue (if anyone knows a job with extremely high pay, lots of vacation, and little work required – I’ll definitely sell the business).

Michelle and I wish everyone a Merry Christmas with Santa making three stops at your house and a Happy New Year full of nothing but happiness, humor, good health, and winning lottery numbers.

Happy Holidays!
Michelle and Tim S

October 19, 2010

Call the police, there’s a tricycle in my driveway!

Filed under: Neighbors — Tim @ 3:43 pm

Life with five small children remains hectic, unpredictable, and full of small precious moments surrounded by nonsensical behavior.  Amazingly, the nonsensical behavior came from our neighbors – unbearably busy raising one child while a mother-in-law cleans their house every day.

Michelle was in front of the house watching Laurel (5), Sophia (3), and Amelia(1) when Sophia had a bathroom emergency.  Michelle rushed Sophia into the house (with Amelia on her hip) and into the bathroom – narrowly avoiding the bathroom disaster.  Emerging back outside with the girls, Michelle spotted our neighbors Steve Martini (41) and Jeri Martini (40) pulling into their driveway.  Unfortunately, Sophia had left her tricycle in the center of the neighbors driveway (devious three year old probably did it on purpose – we all know about those insidious preschool plots).  Inside the Martini car, Jeri began screaming and violently jerking her arms up and down while banging on the car horn – quite a natural emotion when confronted by a tricycle.  Michelle immediately came out, recognized the egregiousness of the situation, removed the tricycle and apologized twice.  Apparently it was not enough!  Jeri complained it was not the first time something has been left in their yard (the horrors!).  Steve even got into the action and asked Michelle if there was a problem (even though he was in the front seat with his wife).  Showing their god given intelligence, they iterated it was dangerous because Francine (their cleaning lady who sometimes doubles as a Mom) can’t see well and might hit the tricycle – I guess scratching your paint is more of a danger to them than running over a child.  The Martinis proceeded to fume, huff, and puff back into their cozy little house. What is truly amazing is that we never leave anything in their yard!  I know they are some of the world’s biggest neat freaks and would panic if toys were ever found in their yard.  They have a garage floor cleaner than our kitchen table (not really an amazing task on most nights).

Michelle came into the house and informed me of the neighbors’ reactions.  Being a calm person, my initial reaction was to properly place the tricycle inside their rectum.  Slowly my temperature lowered and I began to view it as quite humorous and visualized different reactions they may have in the future (it will happen again if I have to ride the tricycle myself).  Oh my god, there is a tricycle in my driveway!  How will we ever get into our house!  Call 911!  Call a moving van, we cannot take these intrusions into our life!  I never realized Jeri was really either Bewitched’s Gladys Kravitz or Margot Chester from Christmas Vacation.

I now have a tricycle revenge master plan and it is only dependent  upon winning the lottery (at least $30 million).  Immediately upon collecting the lottery winnings, we shall purchase a beautiful new home.  Instead of selling our current house, I am going to rent to the biggest redneck family in Georgia – at least 10 kids from six different marriages without a dentist visit to their name.  I shall provide free beer throughout the year, the loudest available indoor/outdoor stereo system, six disco balls, two backyard Tiki huts, the largest pickup truck on the market (muffler optional), and free hubcaps.  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I don’t think God is going to reward me with the winning lottery numbers this week (alright – I won’t include the hubcaps).

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